✨

Day1

One Day or Day 1. You choose.

Back in July 2019, I was feeling miserable about life. I had graduated, and as an expat not so confident with her English, I wasn’t confident at all to get what you’d call a “proper” job. I still had one more month of University work, but I’d need to do something to get me out of that hole. So I started a personal challenge after coming across a quote on Google Images “One day or Day one. You decide”. I had watched enough motivational YouTube videos but nothing had hit me as that quote. It came at the perfect time I guess. I then decided to use “One Day or Day 1. You choose” as the title of my challenge. “You choose” would resonate more with me than deciding. I’m quite an undecided person, but I knew I just had to do something.

At the time I was using Twitter and on the first day of the month starting after August, I would pin 4 to 6 short sentences stating what I wanted to achieve during that month. This could be “learning to make gnocchi”, “read one book”, “get a job”, “learn how to code”, etc. Incredibly, I had found this highly motivating, and from August to December, I had managed to achieve most of the quests, enrolled in a Code First: Girls workshop learning the basics of HTML and CSS, started painting, and even exercising. By December, I got my first “proper job” after spending the summer washing plates and collecting rubbish at stadiums on a casual 9 to 11 hour shifts basis. At night, I would paint, read or work on my portfolio.

As I'm learning to leave the past behind, let's just say by the end of 2019 I embarked on a crazy emotional rollercoaster till 2020. The pandemic didn't help much either, but by the spring of 2021, I re-started some of my hobbies and re-structured my online space here.

All about my quests for each month used to be written online but I decided to delete them and rather keep them for myself. Starting September 2022, I made my goals public again, and re-started my “One Day or Day 1, you choose” challenge. Once again I pinned them on Twitter but due the platform’s uncertainty, decided to move them here to my personal space.

🏅Goals

21-Day-Challenge aka Start Building Habits

On September 6th, 2022, I’ve started a 21 day checklist challenge to finish up tasks and achieve certain goals. I’m ticking the days off here on Google Sheets.

Food

Exercise

Skincare

This has been the hardest habit to keep up with. I’ll use the Skincare heading for any habit that helps skin integrity and enhances its appearance (hair, body, and face).

🥰 On Face,

  1. Morning: Wash face with soap and apply sunscreen;
  1. Night: Wash face with soap, apply Vitamin C, and apply an hydrating cream.
  1. Sundays and Wednesdays: Exfoliate skin with Neutrogena Deep clean, apply a face mask, and use sunscreen.

💃 On Body,

💇‍♀️ On Hair,

  • Since December 2021, I’ve ditched regular shampoos after a botox treatment - you shouldn’t use shampoos with sulfates afterwards to maximize the treatment effect. My sister who had done it before gave me two slices of her shampoo bar from Lush - the avocado co-wash. It was my first time using a shampoo bar (better for our skin and better for the environment). For me, this one didn’t make so much foam as a regular shampoo and acted more as a conditioner. I was okay with it, and did notice my hair was getting very oily after washing because it was suffering from the sulfate → no sulfate transition (regular sulfate shampoos take away your natural oils and that’s why you need to keep washing your hair). By the end of January, hair oiliness started to stabilize and I could keep my twice a week hair washing routine.
  • Those pieces of shampoo lasted until mid-February 2022, and I went on to buy a new bar, the Angel Hair also from Lush after chatting with the lady in the store. It’s always best to explain what you’re looking for/how your body reacts to certain elements so you can get the best advice on what products to try next. This one still has sodium coco sulfate, but I’ll see how it goes. (Feb 15 - May 29)
  • Price-wise, branded shampoo bars are more expensive at first glance, but they end up lasting you longer and are way more beneficial both for you and the environment, so I don’t think I’ll keep buying plastic bottles filled with sulfates for the next years.

Mental Health

Dreams

I believe in energy and life signs. I used to write down my dreams when I was younger but one day I stopped. Lately, I’ve been noting them down again.

Love

I’ve been unsure on writing about love for some time but I decided it might be a good exercise for my future me.

I don’t feel to have ever fell in love with someone. I had many crushes but no one in special who I felt to be “the one”. Bluntly, I don’t believe in love at first sight. I believe we choose who to give our love to. I believe we can choose to “block” people to not “fall in love with” and we can choose to open ourselves up to different people we don’t even have any expectations with.

I feel ready for a romantic relationship. I feel ready to give my love to someone and to water it every day with that someone. I feel ready to be loved and cherished, and to be surprised with what comes out of being in love.

But I feel I’m just unlucky. I’ve thought of so many things throughout my 25 years. Am I unworthy of love? Am I too ugly for love? Or even, am I still too innocent to love? Why can my friends switch boyfriends every couple of months and I can’t even grab anyone’s attention? Am I really that boring? Are my standards that high?

When I see couples holding hands, it truly fills my heart with happiness. I imagine what could be their stories about and how good it should feel to feel each other’s skin.

I love romance. I love to surprise people and do my best so they feel good. I would like to feel what cheesy romance is. I never got any flowers nor was asked out on a date. I wonder what it feels like to be appreciated and looked at from eyes that are in love. I wonder what it feels like to date a Prince Charming (hey I know what year we’re in, but I believe good men still exist).

All my attempts so far with my crushes have led me to end up with my heart in pieces. They reveal their true selves, and whatever was happening ends quickly, and most of the times I’m ghosted. I prefer it that way, as being fooled and cheated on in the long-term leads to what happens to most of the couples these days: breakup and divorce. Or a toxic relationship. Please to anyone reading this, never ever give up on getting out of a toxic /or abusive relationship. I know what is like and what can happen if you let things go to far. Please find a way to talk to someone and keep an emergency number with you.

I know single people usually say being single is great, and from someone single her whole life, I do agree. But is it that bad to ask for someone to share and build your life with? I for one, feel lonely sometimes. I want to wake up next to someone, to try different things when it comes to sex, and most of all, get a partner to hold hands with while we walk this journey we call life (you know I had to add some clichê sentence somewhere right?).

I know I am enough. I only wished I was already enough to someone.

In case you need it, created this playlist to not forget that we only deserve the best.

Follow What Works For You

Like many, I also fell in the trap of following what articles say to be the best, or what “generally balanced people do”. But at the end of the day, you got to discover what works for you.

✅
Things that work for me
  • Meditate early in the morning
  • Workout between 11am-13pm
  • Reading time between 3pm-5pm
  • Creating lists
  • Writing about my feelings
⛔
Things that don’t work for me
  • Exercise in the afternoon
  • Sleep later than 10pm
  • Not having a strict meal plan
  • Chit-chat / Superficial talk

Glow-up

Physical: I’m a low maintenance type of woman, but have some rituals from time to time including: eyelash perm every couple of months, have my nails done with gel every couple of months, cut my hair twice a year, and monthly hair laser removal. I’ve learned to do lymphatic self-massages but still would like to try it with a professional. I don’t wear make-up because it’s too heavy for my skin, so I go for natural alternatives instead or little glow-up tricks that make the difference. I try to exercise everyday and drink lots of water. Food and nutrition is still a WIP.

on self-esteem: only now after my 25s i am feeling naturally pretty, and comfortable on my skin. I still continue to be non-photogenic and not wearing make-up, and that's okay. I wish I could tell my younger self to just have patience and enjoy the metamorphosis. Tbh, health is something I usually neglect until the last minute. I'm currently having a weird issue on my feet, they are purple and look burned for almost 3 years now. I always feel ashamed of using sandals during summer, but I hope to know what this is very soon. What usually sucks is not having money to go after these things. Three years ago I couldn't afford so many appointments, and just hoped it would get "naturally" solved. It turned out I had to take out a vein last year due to bad blood circulation, and only god knows what's up now. Another reason is the health system, I think. I feel back in England and here in The Netherlands you need to exaggerate your symptoms to get referrals or more attention to the issue, although the health system is said to be better. I personally like and miss Portugal's much more. Overall, one lesson I learned is: if something doesn't feel right, most likely it isn't right. We know our bodies better than anyone else, doctors are not gods, and we can't give up on going after diagnosis and second opinions. It's tiring and costs money, but that's how life is.